Incusd hangs when launching (windows) VM with Nvidia GPU

HI,
I’m trying to add the only gpu (gtx1080ti) on a system to a windows VM and it just causes incus to pretty much freeze on vm launch (@stgraber), after an extended period of time (half an hour or an hour, hard to say) the operation may fail with error status but doesn’t fully recover many operations including a simple incus ls take longer than it would prior to launching the VM. Any help would be greatly appreciated! (bare in mind there are no other VGA/GPU devices on this system at all nothing on the mobo or cpu).

incus 6.5-2 and qemu 9.1.0-2
kernel (6.6.52-1-lts) cmdline:

skew_tick=1  zswap.enabled=0  intel_pstate=no_hwp intel_iommu=on  iommu=pt  rdblacklist=nouveau pci-stub.ids=10de:1b06,10de:10ef

incus info --resources:

GPU:
  NUMA node: 1
  Vendor: NVIDIA Corporation (10de)
  Product: GP102 [GeForce GTX 1080 Ti] (1b06)
  PCI address: 0000:81:00.0
  Driver: vfio-pci (6.6.51-1-lts)

incus config show win10:

devices:
  gtx1080ti:
    gputype: physical
    pci: 0000:81:00.0
    type: gpu

And the GPU appears to be in an isolated IOMMU group on its own;

IOMMU Group 2:
        81:00.0 VGA compatible controller [0300]: NVIDIA Corporation GP102 [GeForce GTX 1080 Ti] [10de:1b06] (rev a1)
        81:00.1 Audio device [0403]: NVIDIA Corporation GP102 HDMI Audio Controller [10de:10ef] (rev a1)

Update

The issue is somehow related to memory. With limits.memory=32Gib the VM doesn’t start and causes incus to freeze but with limits.memory=30GiB everything seems to work fine.

Memory:
  NUMA nodes:
    Node 0:
      Free: 1.10GiB
      Used: 30.90GiB
      Total: 32.00GiB
    Node 1:
      Free: 31.34GiB
      Used: 675.16MiB
      Total: 32.00GiB
  Free: 61.52GiB
  Used: 2.48GiB
  Total: 64.00GiB

Is it supposed to be possible to pass a vfio-pci device to a VM while the said device is required for your desktop session?

there’s no desktop session the host is headless. monitor, keyboard and mouse are hooked up to the VM.